there is a lot of challenge in front of me.
be courages and be brave to face them and overcome
i won't escape from the problem any more.

my heart is hurt
feel pain
it is bleeding

very miss my puppy
she always will be there with me in joyness or sadness.
eager to back home, just to see her
then i am contented

wanting to forget all
my assignment...my study...
stay in the home, with my family there.

Just don't want to join any of the dcl group.
just want to isolate myself
feel tired with the social life.
Perhaps is just want to make myself alone.
busy for the work, class and the RC society recently.
although is very busy, but i am contented with my life.
perhaps is too busy, want to give myself some spaces in the isolation, and have a rest.

There is a lot of challenges in front of me. As what the meaning of my name, i sure can overcome all these and excel myself with victorious.
Be courages, be smart, be confidence, be strong...never be defected by the circumstances, just go ahead. The success is just in front of you.

result is out already today
thx god blessing~
i get the expected result.
although the result quite same as the 1st semester one
although i can't score as flying color
i am contented
cus my CGPA is increased
hope i can excel myself in this new semester^^

sadly, my fren confirm that she wanna to quit from the course
as i m a foreigner from other state
studying outside alone without the accompany of family is very suffering one
i once have this feeling and though.
sometimes i also want to quit
but i din't do so
it's need a lot courages to do the decision
cus i love to study the course
i learned a lot and growth from the exploration here

a sudden thought make me grow up

what happen to us recently? we din have a good talk for two weeks already. Within these two weeks, whenever i calling u, u nvr ans. even u ans me, the first thing u said to me is ' i m bz now, what's up'? then, u hang up my call. feeling hurt abt it. u nvr reply my msg or gv me a msg. i complaint. no matter how bz u r, sure u have time to short rest, eating, bathing, shiting... yet, u wont use ur time to gv me a msg to let me know u still there, rmb me eventhough how bz u r.

crying in nite~sleeplessness~insomnia~no fren(still in sem break, all bek home already)~no 'little baby' here(of coz is my lovely puppy)~juz move in a new house~facing problem adapting the new environment~feeling strange w the new housemate~having relationship problem with u~feeling of being abandon~neglected~

all the things seems pushing towards depression

life seems meaningless~nothg to do~except wasting my time on sleep, eat, shit, sleep, n missing u~sleep, eat, shit, sleep, n missing u~~~~~ keep on repeating all the step of life~rather than that, nothg to do~juz wait~wait the passing of time~then miss u again~sometime having an impulse to end my life~(of coz i wont do that la~my ego tell me cant do dat~)

chanting to pray our relationship becomes better~chanting we can tolerant each other, faithful, ~chanting for u to become success in ur career~juz wanna to spend my life with u~

perhaps, my anxiety make u feel irritating to me~u start to avoid me~

as i know, if want to have evolution and changes to the current situation, chanting and praying are not enuf for that~we need to have learn, practice, and chant to have 'luck' (means blessed)~LEARN: to change myself, my inner state of viewing things, and plus learn how to challenge when face problems wisely~PRACTICE: practice all the learned things~CHANT: chant to be blessed if there is any unexpected things happen,u r blessed to have the luck so that things will not that worse.

i need to change my attitude~as what i learned, although it seems an 'old' thinking to the new generation, i think it is the most important virtue to a lady. that is, the virtue of a lady is tolerance, accetence, understanding. tolerant to all the weaknesses of ur beloved bcus there is no one is perfect in the world~however, the capacity of tolerant of human being is limited as what u all know, practicing tolerance is a difficult task that no everyone can achieve this~so...i learn not to merely blindly tolerate, i accept them when i understand him~understand the reason of why he doing so~then accept them if reasonable~if there is possible, choose a time to have a dialog abt what is wrong and what need to change.

i do analysis abt it. i choose to believe u love me. as what we all know, faith is the most important element to maintain a healthy relationship. i believe u r struggle hard for the bussiness. there is too many reasons you need to do so. it's not simple life, and hard, u need to sacrifice ur time, ur holiday, and even ur reputation when u join the business. u might sacrifice our love if i m not understanding u. there is too many things we need to challenge in the future. a lot of obstacles in front of us. it sounds not worth to work for this business. i angry abt u not discuss with me. after a rational thought, i guess i know ur reason. u din sms, ans me call and not discuss w me bcus u scare i will be disturbing u. i might disrupt ur mind, disrupt u from doing a best decision and do the things u actually want. u r a person will think carefully before having a changes. i should faith on u.

economic corruption happen~ it is not easy to get a good job. but, i know u need to earn money for the survival. of coz, based on ur quality, there a lot job and business partners are wanting u. u know there is some possibilities to ur final sem result, if good thing happen, u can graduate proudly. or vise versa. u know it. it might influence u when u get a job. actually u told me abt that, i din listen ur words carefully. plus, u do this because of me as well. ur location with me is near if u take the business. u might not be able to accompany me for one or two mth, but it is seasoning. u'll become free and easier after the crucial period.

hope my judgement and understanding abt yours are not wrong. perhaps, there is too many your reasons i din mention, i hope we can challenge together. we can sublimate our relationship to the compassionate love which is the essential for long term relationship. Be a knowledgeable but wisely person, and be there with you.

A game i play from the link of my fren's blog

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

it's the interpretation abt me frm the game. How much is the reliability from your view?
hey~ haha~ let's play the game. link to ;http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx