stuck...suck

my fault
my mistake

i am too easy influenced by other
but i can make my stand
but i din't stand firm for my stand

u make me feel guilty whatever of my mistake
whenever i din follow the rules, i feel guilty
but still, i challenge it

i can't blame others, because it is my mistake

but feel like sourish in my heart
u were good to me
i know u are just wanna to make ur job
still
feel sourish

how much u know about what i did more than others, but others no?
i always concern with my performance
i don care if i work more than people
some people lazy, come late, i do things for them too, u know?

when i do educational job, i come early but go back late to help others.
but when other ppl do educational job, they come late, din help each other, no team work, do u know?
then do u know why i always late to start my job?
i m always the earliest one, i open up all the boothe of others causing me to be the slowest to start my trial sampling.

finally i KNow

finally i know
the ugly truth
wat makes u always take so long in bathroom

miss, plz

my mummy always taught me not to use bathroom too long
others might want to use
don try to sit the toilet when u bath
it take very long time

if u want to poo, plz ask consent frm others
if not, don use too long especially u live with group of ppl

u always use for an hour
cause me late for class
no chance to have morning bath><

plz plz
u r living with group
next time use toilet don take more than 20 mins

what happen to me? am i an unsecure person?
extremely in work...extremely in lazy...extremely in dependent and extremely independent...

what happen to us?..........................
i cant sense it anymore...

sigh...
is time to wake up...carry on my usual lifestyle...is time to serious on study...
leave some space between us...hope it will be better

再次的苏醒

这几天做任何事都魂不守舍的，看来我又要再回到过去的我，再次要败北吗？
在托儿所教书时，上课时，做推销时。。。样样都打不起精神，成天都觉得累，头疼。。。只想把功课丢一旁，家里的事只想置身之外。。。
老毛病又犯了，只想逃避，被动，悲观，心烦意乱的我又再出现了？

回想，到底我信心的原点是为了什么？
不过是为了自身的幸福和一家和乐的决意。

自从上次回家后我的题目与勤行也都越来越少。。。从每日的一小时到三十分钟，再慢慢变到零。。。遇到问题，我的信心再次被动摇，惰性再次苏醒！！！

最近我开始喜欢一个人了。。。我开始想自己现在对justin的感觉是什么了。。。他说他会很高兴如果我找到比他好的。。。我问他那对我的感觉呢，结果换来的是一片污辱！对于此事，我以为我会很生气或是很伤心，结果还好。。。但却又有点被他所说的动摇，不如就如他说的最坏打算呢？至少会在一起。另一方面又想，那是我这么久以来的所要的修行结果吗？会有幸福吗？这只会让我再次坠入宿命的恶路吧！

刚才一个朋友找我谈生意。。。她最后说的那几句话，让我想起justin以前对我所说的话。。。我当时很喜欢他因为他思想非凡，但却有着一颗真挚的心。虽他当时是个有点名闻名利的家伙，不过程度还好。。。有些事发生，改变了。他被名闻名利冲昏了头，只想用捷径赚他那第一桶金。

他说现在的我只会让他烦感，讨厌。我一直以为我们能一起努力。。。但我们的理念不同了。。。他舍弃了自己，舍弃了自身幸福，舍弃了家人；只为了那名利。。。就像一般现代人，舍弃人本主义。我想。。。因为理念不同了，看见只会产生愧疚，接着来的是厌恶，唾弃。

如佛法所说，贪憎痴是凡人都会犯的，要如何修行达至佛界呢？唯有通过信，行，学。不断的经历磨练。

过去的我都一直犯着。。。奢望着不再属于我的人。。。他不会再是能和我创造幸福的另一伴。

年轻人，回到信心的原点吧！好好向gohonzon祈求，一切宿命都转重轻受，同时为这他人的幸福实践广宣流布。祈求着gohonzon的安排，天时，地利，人和的善缘。创造凯旋归来的广宣流布。

it's time.

maybe it is time to let go of my feeling to you.
i use my heart and sincere to treat u as my dear...
in the end, being insulted by your heartless.
i guess he is the only 'friend' you have, because you are just the same as him...as worse as him...as infuriating as him...sick...bullshit!!!!
you are not worth for.even as what you said!

bastard

bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally i know you r that kind of person! my doubt is proven.
u r just like the kind of person like any of my friend think!
i won't get into ur trick any more

a lesson of sharing

today, we had a lesson of sharing in our leadership tutorial class...
firstly, we had a game for ice breaking for the group...then afterward, we sit in circle to share about the opinion about the changes of our group from the 1st tutorial lesson in 1st sem until now...

it is private and confidential...so i won't discuss here...

but i feel glad to be a counseling course student...we always have this kind of sharing in group...which make us grow...and learn...thanks u all...

any one can guide me?

juz have a quarel w my sis...
i know her condition...it sure will be very pressure for her to carry my younger brother and raising my younger sister...
that's why i would like to get more part time jobs to afford my financial and urs...

that day mum ask me to visit younger brother when i back hometown...
to console him...
i didn't do s0...
i juz dont have the courage...i guess...he'll lock the door for not letting me to go...

mum and sis dont want to have a good talk to discuss about my younger brother issue...

i really don't know how to deal with you all...there is too many misunderstanding between mum and sis...
you know...how i wish he can be a normal student...with freedom...and live happily...how i wish him to come back...i tidied his room when i came back hometown that day...so that he can have a comfortable room to stay when he back...

about us

i saw ur message in the morning...
the vibration of the alert of ur message waking me up...

in ur message 'i have no comment...i heard u gt a new bf grat if it is happening'
it must be ur mum's colleague talk about it...

people misunderstood he is my bf when i bring him to work...in fact... i not well with him...
Kong told me about he will not back hometown during the semester break...so i ask him to replace the absent teacher...that simple...

from ur message...i guess...r u wanting to test me whether will have another new bf so u broke with me?
if so...it is not funny at all...what a childish!!

where r u?

fifth day already
from the moment i open my eyes this morning

where r u now? we wonder to know...
we r worrying...missing u...
it is making we all crazy....

mum said want u to quit from study, and go for work.... two days ago...with the sound of angry...
from yesterday...she called me...with the sound of despair and worry...u never run away for more than three days...

where r u?my dearest brother....

mother's day

three days ady
my younger brother run away from home...before motheer's day...the day they want to back Segamat for my cousin's wedding.
i intended to give my mum surprise when she reach Segamat (my sis will pass the facial cream i bought as the present of Mother's day)...well, my younger bro lost...then,she did not back Segamat...

no one i can talk to...they won't understand!!!! my mum...i never can get to communicate with her!!
she thought i gang up with my sis to protect my younger bro from mistake!!! she scold me...'as a teacher, but not act as teacher...protect the younger bro from mistake, he shall responsible for his action, u all are not helping him, is harming him...he becomes like this nowadays because of u!11'

he start to run away since Friday...he did not go to school on the day...my mum told me about this, but she sounds not care, she went to sleep instead of finding him...perhaps she used to it already or she tired for the problem...
well,my sis told me she found my younger bro at a cyber cafe on the next day...she send him back home then only she left...my sis not dare to send my bro to mum's working place or told mum about she found him...my younger bro will never forgive her if she tell mum...he sure will end up being punished seriously...
my sis ask me to double confirm from my mum whether she saw my younger bro at home when she back..cus he will run away again...
because of the poor relationship between my sis and mum, i have to be the messenger between them...when i ask mum again whether my younger bro back home already,she never check all the rooms in the house, then told me he haven't back.
on the third day(mother's day)...mum said she saw my younger bro in sis's room when she pass by the house...well, my sis is not there,she went to Segamat already... plus, her housemate said the room is locked by the locker outside. so, it is impossible got someone inside the room...
because of the situation, i told mum about my sis send him back home yesterday already...

my sister angry me about it...my mum angry me not to tell her!! she thought i gang up with myy sis...she never understand!!! never care about how others feel...if i told her, my younger bro will hate the family!!! he will feel sense of betrayal...

he never back home for 3 days already...i intended to give mum a happy mother's day even i can't be with her...however, it end up with misunderstanding...being scold by mum...and my younger bro lost...

perhaps it is the reason of feeling shame when he back Segamat...he looks ugly since working with the 'tiger'...'tiger' make his hair in botak...with tanned skin and pimples face...so he want to run away from the house to escapes everything...

how i wish i can make the family happiness...i always make a mess...i want to quit myself from the issue...it is not the way of solving problem...how i wish there is someone tell me'never mind, u try ur best already...they will see ur efforts in one day'...

happy mother day

mother's day is coming this weekend

finally...i give my gift to her...Justin mother...
she treat me very well when i still in date with Justin...like my another mother in KL...
i have been wanting to visit her long time already...i don't have the courages to do so...by the way, i broke with Justin...worry if i visit his mother, i will disturb them...

it is the 1st time i stay in KL without accompany my mum on Mother's day...
getting homesick...miss my mother there...hope she will understand my situation...happy mother's day to her...

My dear choi choi give me what a surprise few day ago...she leave PLKN early for study in INTI with diploma in IT...very shocked to hear the news...she changes her mind so fast...
anyway...i feel a sense of security when i know she is in subang...at least there is my dearest friend near me...i can go to find her whenever i miss her or get homesick or feeling down(hehe...in fact i seldom find her)...perhaps,i depends on her emotionally...she is the one who will understand me...give me comfort whenever i m sadness...

WAITING

finally~finish my exam...the process very smooth...eventhought i got part time job before the exam...
i excel myself in the 1st week of my nescafe promoter job...top perfomance...because of the offer at the location...and plus a little of my effort...
all the difficulties and chanllenges are overcame successfully...
well...how about us?

cao ge song--shu dao wu da ying wo

第一次看着你 就为你心动(di yi ci kan zhe ni jiu wei ni xin dong)
聪明的我 怎能让你走(cong ming de wo,zen neng rang ni zou)
第二次看见你 我竟然失控(di er ci kan jian ni, wo jing ran shi kong)
是我的错 请你原谅我(shi wo de cuo, qing ni yuan liang wo)
第三次看见你 想要告诉你(di san ci kan jian ni, xiang yao gao shu ni)
我真的爱你 是真的爱你(wo zhen de ai ni, shi zhen de ai ni)
第四次看着你 我有些要求(di si kan zhe ni, wo you xie yao qiu)
希望你能够 安安静静地聆听(xi wang ni neng gou, an an jing jing de ling ting)
1让我保护你(1 rang wo bao hu ni)
2让我照顾你(2 rang wo zhao gu ni)
3所有的要求不能当作游戏(3 suo you de yao qiu bu neng dang zuo you xi)
4接受这命运(4 jie shou zhe ming yun)
5永远不分离(5 yong yuan bu fen li)
那最后一个一定要说你愿意(na zui hou yi ge yi ding yao shou ni yuan yi)
wanna be your lover i wanna be your man
我只要你开心多一点(wo zhi yao ni kai xin duo yi dian)
Can you be my lover don't wanna be your friend
给你幸福的永远(gei ni xing fu de yong yuan)
第一次看着你 就为你心动(di yi ci kan zhe ni, jiu wei ni xin dong)
聪明的我 怎能让你走(cong ming de wo, zen neng rang ni zou)
第二次看见你 我竟然失控(di er ci kan jian ni, wo jin ran shi kong)
是我的错 请你原谅我(shi wo de cuo, qing ni yuan liang wo)
第三次看见你 想要告诉你(di san ci kan jian ni, xiang yao gao shu ni)
我真的爱你 是真的爱你(wo zhen de ai ni, shi zhen de ai ni)
第四次看着你 我有些要求(di si ci kan zhe ni, wo you xia yao qiu)
希望你能够 安安静静地聆听(xi wang ni neng gou, an anjing jing de ling ting)
one让我保护你(one, rang wo bao hu ni)
two让我照顾你(two rang wo zhao gu ni)
three所有的要求不能当作游戏(three, suo you de yao qiu bu neng dang zuo you xi)
four接受这命运(four, jie shou zhe ming yun)
five永远不分离(five, yong yuan bu fen li)
说你愿意(shou ni yuan yi)
wanna be your lover i wanna be your man
我只希望给你多一点(wo zhi xi wang gei ni duo yi dian)
Can you be my lover don't wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天(gei ni xing fu mei yi tian)
因为我 wanna be your lover i wanna be your man(ying wei wo......)
我只要你开心多一点(wo zhi yao ni kai xin duo yi dian)
Can you be my lover don't wanna be your friend
给你幸福到永远(gei ni xing fu dao yong yuan)
你说你害怕 因为受过伤(ni shou ni hai pa,yin wei shou guo shang)
不需要害怕 因为我不是他(bu xu yao hai pa,yin wei wo bu shi ta)
wanna be your lover i wanna be your man
我只希望给你多一点(wo zhi xi wang gei ni duo yi diaan)
Can you be my lover don't wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天(gei ni xingfu mei yi tian)
因为我wanna be your lover i wanna be your man(yin wei wo.......)
我只要你开心多一点(wo zhi yao ni kai xin duo yi dian)
Can you be my lover don't wanna be your friend
给你幸福到永远(gei ni xing fu dao yong yuan)

i never know i was an angel to u. PRAWN, CHOI and HUI.

in the end, sacrifice my choir concert...
my carnation project is changed to nescafe coffee
higher paid...longer period.
two mths job...for the person who never like to drink coffee.

have to learn to love drinking coffee regarding all the benefits of it.
to excell myself for the job, i have to do this-----drink coffee.

final exam is coming.
it is the 1st time i work at the exam period.
i must be able to maintain both my job and the study
to achieve 3.75 CGPA...to be the top promoter...to be a good teacher as well...
haha...sounds very greedy with so many ambitions.

to prawn

juz get to know u saw my blog
actually i m leading u to view it indirectly.
i donno how u and him view abt me.
anyway, it doesn't matter.
i am as wat i judge myself, not u!

when reviewing the past...i find that actually i don love him much.
i love myself more than everything. preserving myself in front of u all.
since i study psychology, i realize about it.
i am acquiring to receive more and more loves and concerns from others.

we came from different background.
u all won't and never will understand how the feel likes.
the feeling of being discriminated by the society about what my biological mother.
the feeling of unloved by my biological mother...lacking of father love...
do u know how envy i am about u all having a perfect family?
u gain the attentions by your parents, get their love and accompanies.
while, how about me?
i am just a bit fortune than my siblings.
when u still a little gal, do u ever being abandoned at home alone when u r damn in sick.
i guess never.
do u ever experience being alone home to wait mother home?

u know, how hated i am about those who come from perfect and happiness family?
how i wish to see when one days, ur parents leave u, what will u do?
how i wish to see those protected one in the state of helpless and hopeless in one day...
i know it is a wicked thought
but, i admit i truly as this person before.

although not from a perfect family, my family was in happiness once.
until the events...
it is totally broken!!!!
do u know how hard I went through in my secondary life?

well...i changed ady. i am no longer the one u all used to know.

when i sense the happiness of other especially in my working place. i feel glad for them. bless them.from the moment, i know, i am not the one i used to.
although i am busy to earn money, for the soka society, for the study, although there is some problem with my current bf and my familyproblem...my heart is full of energy to challenge.

my change is leading to my sister, mum...change...my family became better.i will achieve my goals in one day.

finally.....all the stuff finished ady...my presentation...counseling skill assessment...assignment...midterm...all pass okok...i my try my best; and everytime my effort shows my improvement...i might not be the best, but i m the best when i try my best.

but.........how about us?still miss u deeply...no matter what u said, i won't feel hurt...as i numb ady...the feeling of wanting, needing, loving still there...

anyway, i will put my family as priority...to make the happiness to my family, is the main goal of my life. to prove the importance of education and culture are the main ways to guide people towards victory, but not the violence!violence and punishment (caning)are not the only way to discipline my younger brother, there are a lot of other way~hope my change u guys will find, my cchange will bring revolution of the fate.

appreciate to gohonzon

very happy whenever i think of how smooth i went through in these two days.

i been in trouble...about my job...choir practice...concert...
don't know how to adjust about them! since my choir will be having concert in the next month. Thursdays choir practice is changed to sat for those working people can come for the practice...but i have to work for weekends part time...then i won't be able to come for the practice...however, the concert is important as well...
another news i received from my child care center director, she ask whether i can come more days...means the amount of work is increased...WOW...there will be final sem exam in this month too...WOW!! so many things and work...how can i deal with this?

i pray to the Gohonzon about my current situation. pray for a good arrangement, i don't want to give up of any job. well..i received call from my supervisor that he changed my project...from the two weeks projects becomes the one week only!!! a bit pain because the salary is cut into half...but i can participate my practice more often...at the time can work to earn money

all the things was gone through well...i had product training in damansara, class,need to send printing material,and still had work in evening, need to prepare my midterm and my assessment when night. well...things gone through smoothly...i got to see my dear when i go to send the printing material...although i didn't prepare my midterm well, i can finish it by 'discussing' with my friends. the lecturer allowed us to do so.my voice is what a damn...luckily my practical assessment is good overall. my boss of the child care center is kind, she gave th salary on time. actually i almost have to declare bankrupt...

hehe^^can have a good rest now...nite^^

contented

a sense of contented comes into my mind...a very little things...

today i go to collect the photostated books...during the tutorial class, my classmates saw the books...they thinks the books are very helpful to us...want to have a copy too...

feel very happy...another new deal business for u...

a very simple things can make me feel happiness...able to do things which is helpful to u...i am contented about...really...

getting sick...lose my voice...a lot of things still need to carry on...choir practice,counselling skill assessment,my teaching class...all need to speak...hope all will be all rite as soon as possible!!

poor fish...being bully by the executive supervisor of my company...my two weeks part time job changed to one week only...T.T...sob sob sob...
well...my voice is what a damaged but sexy in these few days...if...........then i also can't work for this weekends...so...

challenge:
1. to overcome the fate of my family, create a victory in life instead of following the path of the elder generation.
2. the relationship problem with justin. must have the confidence to gain happinesses.
3. health problem. pay attention on the health no matter how bz i m.
4. financial independent. must be able to pursue the tertiary education without giving pressure to the family by getting the scholarship and loan,working part time.
5. time management.
6. self esteem
7. get 3.75 CGPA.
8. the success of the choir's mini concert and the success in 2010 cultural seminar.


revolution of my life.

Gone

our love gone...

since the day...i proposed to break...u din't say anything to remain the relationship...i've been very suffering when i to be with u...u r very strict to me...many of small matters to me...u can't withstand...scold me...until that time u want to make things clear via the phone... then i know how much are those small matters mean to u...

a very small matter...but u scold me as if it is very serious things...a very serious things, u didn't scold me as it is very serious one.

u blame me about ur result...because i cause u lack of sleep and mental for the exam, cause u unable to do the revision... u blame about my careless causing you injured...everything you blame on me, is it fair to me?u fail to score on your result, is you didn't study earlier before the exam... don't say u have no time... is excuse...u rather spend on ur facebook, ur game even you have no time, but not for ur study or me...u blame me...

am i a doll of you? u treat me as what exactly?like those cheap cheap girl?...lose control then no need to take the responsible?

it only about one and half mth we didn't see each other...u say u have no more feel to me...all the last few things u did for me which i sense ur love...while, to u,it was very long time ady...bt it only not more than two mths!!!

i shouldn't say break...it very serious...but how about u? i won't say about the words u use...every u scold me over the small matters, do u know how much i hurt?do u thinks i do all those the 'small matters'purposely?

actually i forget all about these ady...i think and think again... about our relation...nobody is perfect in the world, including me...what is main reasons i like you? what cause me want to be with you?it is your seriousness on ur work...we are different in many ways...perhaps we will grow from each other's...in strength and weaknesses...we will strive...to make the life better...it is the relationship i been looking for...
as i know nobody is perfect in the world...how can i say break over those small matters i can't withstand? then i will never get a true love...never get my spouse...

the fact is... u r selfish in r love...perhaps u never love me truly...u love urself more than u love me...u r protecting urself...perhaps it is because of the past experience makes u wanting to protect urself...perhaps u r the selfish one actually...

do u know how much u hurt me dat day until i want to break? a very small matter...i did it accidentally...i lock the lock for safety...bt...ur mum didn't say much on this...she just asked who did it...and reminded me never lock that lock...instead;u scold me badly...as if things very serious...u said i intend to cause u all being scolded by ur dad...
my tear nearly drop...it is not the 1st time u scold me over the small matter...i eager to run away from ur house immediately...scare other will find out i was crying...i bear...bear not to cry...pretend nothg happen...

u find i was annoying u that few days...u knew...it was semester break...my mum overseas...my bro need me for the jb business...i was going to move when my mum return...it actually no need to come bek kl so early...i still came to kl...for u...for the valentine...is my 1st time make chocolate, for the one i love...while...somethings happens in my house...my younger bro run away from the home on the day i come to kl...

u treat me coldly...again...u didn't fulfill ur promise...i didn't get the western meal u make...i make myself as the understanding one as i can...u just finish thesis and seminar on the valentine morning...u have tried ur best to finish them so that u can accompany me for the valentine nite...u r tired...that why unable to make the meal...
yet, the day after valentine...u treat me cold too...u busy...u r in hesitation about ur work...u seemed not welcome when i come to ur house...u busy for checking ur email,ur facebook, ur movie...yet, put me aside there...i still make myself understanding...but...the feeling of hurt again...from u...

my brother in the need...my younger bro run away from the house since i come kl...while..........................................what about u did to me?

finding a job is more important than everything?

then how about my younger bro?i am hiding my scare...maybe somethings bad happen to him...his safety...he lost for three days, u know??!!! my phone was kept ringing those days!!!

i was trying to repair our relationship...i believe everything can be solved when we talk...while...i never get the chance...

两个人在一起就是要学会包容，接受对方的一切。。。包容不代表容忍，接受不代表纵容。。。要学着从对方的优点成长。。。彼此学习。。。

there is a lot of challenge in front of me.
be courages and be brave to face them and overcome
i won't escape from the problem any more.

my heart is hurt
feel pain
it is bleeding

very miss my puppy
she always will be there with me in joyness or sadness.
eager to back home, just to see her
then i am contented

wanting to forget all
my assignment...my study...
stay in the home, with my family there.

Just don't want to join any of the dcl group.
just want to isolate myself
feel tired with the social life.
Perhaps is just want to make myself alone.
busy for the work, class and the RC society recently.
although is very busy, but i am contented with my life.
perhaps is too busy, want to give myself some spaces in the isolation, and have a rest.

There is a lot of challenges in front of me. As what the meaning of my name, i sure can overcome all these and excel myself with victorious.
Be courages, be smart, be confidence, be strong...never be defected by the circumstances, just go ahead. The success is just in front of you.

result is out already today
thx god blessing~
i get the expected result.
although the result quite same as the 1st semester one
although i can't score as flying color
i am contented
cus my CGPA is increased
hope i can excel myself in this new semester^^

sadly, my fren confirm that she wanna to quit from the course
as i m a foreigner from other state
studying outside alone without the accompany of family is very suffering one
i once have this feeling and though.
sometimes i also want to quit
but i din't do so
it's need a lot courages to do the decision
cus i love to study the course
i learned a lot and growth from the exploration here

a sudden thought make me grow up

what happen to us recently? we din have a good talk for two weeks already. Within these two weeks, whenever i calling u, u nvr ans. even u ans me, the first thing u said to me is ' i m bz now, what's up'? then, u hang up my call. feeling hurt abt it. u nvr reply my msg or gv me a msg. i complaint. no matter how bz u r, sure u have time to short rest, eating, bathing, shiting... yet, u wont use ur time to gv me a msg to let me know u still there, rmb me eventhough how bz u r.

crying in nite~sleeplessness~insomnia~no fren(still in sem break, all bek home already)~no 'little baby' here(of coz is my lovely puppy)~juz move in a new house~facing problem adapting the new environment~feeling strange w the new housemate~having relationship problem with u~feeling of being abandon~neglected~

all the things seems pushing towards depression

life seems meaningless~nothg to do~except wasting my time on sleep, eat, shit, sleep, n missing u~sleep, eat, shit, sleep, n missing u~~~~~ keep on repeating all the step of life~rather than that, nothg to do~juz wait~wait the passing of time~then miss u again~sometime having an impulse to end my life~(of coz i wont do that la~my ego tell me cant do dat~)

chanting to pray our relationship becomes better~chanting we can tolerant each other, faithful, ~chanting for u to become success in ur career~juz wanna to spend my life with u~

perhaps, my anxiety make u feel irritating to me~u start to avoid me~

as i know, if want to have evolution and changes to the current situation, chanting and praying are not enuf for that~we need to have learn, practice, and chant to have 'luck' (means blessed)~LEARN: to change myself, my inner state of viewing things, and plus learn how to challenge when face problems wisely~PRACTICE: practice all the learned things~CHANT: chant to be blessed if there is any unexpected things happen,u r blessed to have the luck so that things will not that worse.

i need to change my attitude~as what i learned, although it seems an 'old' thinking to the new generation, i think it is the most important virtue to a lady. that is, the virtue of a lady is tolerance, accetence, understanding. tolerant to all the weaknesses of ur beloved bcus there is no one is perfect in the world~however, the capacity of tolerant of human being is limited as what u all know, practicing tolerance is a difficult task that no everyone can achieve this~so...i learn not to merely blindly tolerate, i accept them when i understand him~understand the reason of why he doing so~then accept them if reasonable~if there is possible, choose a time to have a dialog abt what is wrong and what need to change.

i do analysis abt it. i choose to believe u love me. as what we all know, faith is the most important element to maintain a healthy relationship. i believe u r struggle hard for the bussiness. there is too many reasons you need to do so. it's not simple life, and hard, u need to sacrifice ur time, ur holiday, and even ur reputation when u join the business. u might sacrifice our love if i m not understanding u. there is too many things we need to challenge in the future. a lot of obstacles in front of us. it sounds not worth to work for this business. i angry abt u not discuss with me. after a rational thought, i guess i know ur reason. u din sms, ans me call and not discuss w me bcus u scare i will be disturbing u. i might disrupt ur mind, disrupt u from doing a best decision and do the things u actually want. u r a person will think carefully before having a changes. i should faith on u.

economic corruption happen~ it is not easy to get a good job. but, i know u need to earn money for the survival. of coz, based on ur quality, there a lot job and business partners are wanting u. u know there is some possibilities to ur final sem result, if good thing happen, u can graduate proudly. or vise versa. u know it. it might influence u when u get a job. actually u told me abt that, i din listen ur words carefully. plus, u do this because of me as well. ur location with me is near if u take the business. u might not be able to accompany me for one or two mth, but it is seasoning. u'll become free and easier after the crucial period.

hope my judgement and understanding abt yours are not wrong. perhaps, there is too many your reasons i din mention, i hope we can challenge together. we can sublimate our relationship to the compassionate love which is the essential for long term relationship. Be a knowledgeable but wisely person, and be there with you.

A game i play from the link of my fren's blog

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

it's the interpretation abt me frm the game. How much is the reliability from your view?
hey~ haha~ let's play the game. link to ;http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx